In 2013, when she was feeling out of control with her finances, Tee took what was an enormous step for her; she reached out for help from Money Mentors, Visionwest’s financial mentoring team. Now she’s part of the Visionwest family and a Whai Manaaki Kai regular.
I’d been so down in the dumps about my finances for so long. I thought I owed money to WINZ and had been paying that off and struggling with all my other bills. In desperation, I contacted Visionwest and met Debbie [one of Visionwest’s Financial Mentors]. She helped me and we found out that I didn’t owe money, they owed me. That was amazing. I just didn’t understand how the system worked and I remember the incredible feeling as Debbie explained it to me and helped me sort out my money. It was unbelievable and I felt a huge weight lift off me.
When Tee talks about the decision to seek help, she echoes the sentiments of many who are in her position. First, she was unsure where to go, then came a deep feeling of whakama (shame) as she blamed herself for the perilous situation she found herself in.
I wanted to ask for help, but I didn’t know how. I felt like I should be the one helping other people. It was hard to admit that I was the one that needed that help. Inwardly I was crying out for help, but it took me a long time to actually reach out and ask for it.
Tee’s life is changed
Meeting Debbie changed everything for Tee. She felt listened to and not judged; she received real solutions and not off-pat answers.
I sometimes think no one really listens to each other these days, but Debbie did. When we first met, she sat and listened while I told my story, slowly at first but, as she asked me questions and let me answer at my own pace, it all poured out. I told Debbie everything because I felt comfortable, I felt safe. She was asking some really personal questions because she needed to. If she was going to sort out my finances and my bills and things, she needed to know the depth of my problems. The amazing thing is that I opened up and answered.
Tee speaks about how it wasn’t what questions Debbie asked that enabled her to open up. It was the way she asked them.
Sometimes, when you ask someone for help, they take you and sit you down and then they throw questions at you and then follow it up by throwing advice at you all at once. Debbie didn’t do that. Debbie asked me to sit down and take my time and, when I’m ready, tell her what she can do for me. It took a while but, when I saw that Debbie was listening and not judging me, I just let it all spill out.
Even while I was speaking, I was thinking, this isn’t me. I don’t tell anyone my stuff. I don’t open up about personal things. But Debbie made it feel so natural. I guess, speaking to Debbie gave me hope for the future. I thought if anyone can sort things out for me, this wahine can.
When I told my family what I’d done, that I’d shared all about what I needed, they said, ‘Beg your pardon!’ because they didn’t believe it. My Nan actually congratulated me. She’d been waiting a long time for me to ask someone for the help I needed.
Tee and Visionwest’s Pātaka Kai
It was through Debbie that Tee was introduced to the staff at Visionwest’s Pātaka Kai. It’s another meeting that Tee describes as life changing. It meant, for the first time in longer than she could remember, her pantry cupboards and her fridge had food in them.
I was basically just living day by day until I met Visionwest. I might go to the supermarket and have a look for spaghetti or something cheap like that but, once I’d paid all my other bills, I couldn’t afford food for a proper full meal. You need to have food to survive each day, we all know that. But, by the time my bills were paid, I had hardly anything left over. I started having anxiety attacks. I was having blackouts because I wasn’t eating but, for a long time, I still didn’t want to ask.
Tee admits that when she used to come to the Pātaka Kai, she would cry because of the shame she felt. It was the actions and the kindness of Visionwest kaimahi (staff) that changed that. She saw that there were others who were in the same predicament as her, and she saw that she was accepted and valued as a person and not judged for her situation. She saw that the focus of the kaimahi at Visionwest was to provide solutions, no matter what a person’s background might be.
When Manaaki Kai (Visionwest’s social supermarket) opened earlier this year, Tee was one of the first shoppers.
It’s not just about having food for meals. Kai is the basis for so much of what we do. There was a long time when people would call on me and I’d feel bad because I couldn’t sit there and have a cup of tea with them; I had nothing in the cupboards to offer them. Now, I can make a cuppa and share one or two biscuits. Having people around, just to have someone to talk to is a lot of help for me. Just like it is for everyone. Having food means I can socialise and spend time with others.
Tee and the Tāmaki Makaurau floods
Tee’s home was also adversely affected by the February floods that devastated parts of Tāmaki Makaurau Auckland. At the height of the downpour, her ceiling collapsed leaving her running around grabbing towels to mop up the water. When she went to the bathroom, water was pouring through the window frame and walking past the toilet she noticed water coming through the light fitting.
I give thanks that Visionwest have been there to help me after the floods too. Our beds got ruined. Our clothes were ruined. All our blankets were sopping wet and, before I could dry them, they went mouldy and smelt. My grandson [who lives with Tee] and I were provided with beds, bedding, and clothing. It was unreal. If not for that support, we’d have had nothing.
Visionwest have also put me onto people to come around and check my home. They’ve been testing the walls, the floors and everything. I discovered that my home has nothing in the back of the walls to keep the heat in and that I have the wrong size heat pump. I give thanks that I’ve got a roof over my head but hopefully those other things can be sorted too.
Tee has a real heart for those who are struggling within our communities today. When asked about others who may be going through what she once went through, she’s adamant that people who have needs must reach out to those who can help them.
Just go and see someone. Just go and ask for help. That’s my message to anyone who may be struggling today. Go and see somebody. Don’t allow whakama [shame] to stop you. All around the motu there are people with needs, people who are starving or who are struggling with their money. It’s important that, whatever your need, you go to someone like Visionwest.
Tee’s whānau
Hearing the way Tee speaks about Visionwest is incredibly refreshing. For her, Visionwest is whānau, a family she is overjoyed and proud to be a part of it; so much so that, when she speaks of Visionwest, she speaks of ‘we.’
Visionwest gives me hope for the future and we’re going to have a good future here at Visionwest. We’re going to give hope to others. I look forward to having a medical clinic here where people can come and get medical help. We’ve already got counsellors and budgeters and almost every type of help you can think of.
That’s why I say to everybody out there, don’t be shy. Ask for help. I did it. It took me a long time, years and years … too long, but I did it and I’m not too shy to admit it. Come to Visionwest and they will listen and help you. I’m so thankful for Visionwest for helping others, for helping myself and for helping my family.
To read another inspirational whānau story, click here.
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In the last financial year, Visionwest’s Pātaka Kai gave away 19,691 food boxes supplying food to 8,503 whānau.
**We understand that it is a great privilege when someone generously agrees to share their story. This blog and other material is shared with Tee’s permission and we thank her for her generosity.