A reality for most of us is that we are only two or three critical incidents away from finding ourselves in a place where we are struggling. That’s what happened to Verna who, with little warning, found herself without a job or a place to live.
I’d known about Visionwest for a long time – I just never thought I’d be the one asking for help. My background is as a mental health support worker. I would bring my clients to Visionwest for support especially during the Covid lockdown when we would come over to the Pātaka Kai every Tuesday and Thursday to pick up food parcels.
A while ago, through no fault of my own, I had to leave that job. That was tough because I loved the work and I loved being able to help my clients, but I had no alternative but to move on. Then, almost at the same time, my landlords advised me that they wanted to move back into the house I was renting. That meant I was without a job and a home.
Those two critical incidents coming close together meant Verna was facing an incredibly difficult time. Unable to find a place to live straightaway, she was, for a while, homeless; a situation she never imagined she’d find herself in.
I arranged for all my stuff to go into storage and then I couch-surfed at the homes of friends and a cousin. It wasn’t easy though because they all had their own families and didn’t really have room for me. It was a low time for me, and I felt myself getting pretty down.
After a short while I got into emergency housing in Swanson. That was a real blessing because it gave me a chance to think about what I needed to do and put things in place to prevent my depression getting worse. So, I contacted my counsellor and focused on my own health for a bit. I was studying at that time, Level 4 in mental health social work to do with wellbeing and addictions. That was tough because, although my computer was old, I didn’t like to leave it at the emergency housing where I was being housed because things would go missing. I’d go and do my study at my cousin’s place.
I was in that emergency accommodation for five weeks and I thought, ‘I need to do something about my money because things were getting pretty hard just on the benefit.’ The first place I thought of when I needed that help was Visionwest. I never even thought of going anywhere else. I knew they would help me out.
Verna meets Mahesha from Money Mentors
That’s how I met Mahesha, one of the financial mentors at Money Mentors. She was just fantastic. She wears all these hats, she’s like a mentor, a psychiatrist, a doctor… she’s pretty awesome, like a sister and a best friend. I felt so comfortable with her that I was able to talk straight about my situation. I know from my mental health work that, in order to help someone, you need to form a connection with them. She did that immediately with me. She has this incredible calming influence on people.
“It wasn’t completely easy for me, though. I’d come from losing a job I loved and then losing my accommodation and then having to live in emergency housing – after a while it becomes hard to trust anyone because the people you’ve trusted have let you down. So, it took a while but, in the end, I had to say to myself, ‘Come on. This is Mahesha. She’s a professional and knows exactly what she’s doing.’
Once I was open and honest with her, Mahesha was able to help me get my money in order. She helped me apply for a hardship consideration through my bank. You see, I had loans I had to pay. They were a constant stress to me, and I just wanted to get rid of them. I also set goals for myself each week, especially when I was at emergency housing because you can only stay there for 91 days, and I knew I needed to be sorted by the time I moved.
During this time, I made a conscious decision to get up and get out every day so I could find a permanent place to live. I had a choice, lie in bed half the day and get up crying and wasting time, or get up, get dressed, and get into my car and go looking for a place to stay – that’s what I did.
It’s something I used to tell my mental health clients. I used to tell them it was a mindset change they needed. It’s funny how sometimes you can give advice to others but ignore it yourself. Well, I was determined. I was going to get things sorted.
Verna admits she could have found it difficult to put up her hand and ask for help. She’d been used to helping others, not asking for support for herself.
Mahesha made it so easy all the time. She was firm though… firm but fair. If I didn’t do something she suggested, she’d say, ‘Either you do what I’m suggesting to help you, or you know what’s gonna happen.’
So, after five weeks I got out of emergency housing. That’s almost like record time for someone in emergency housing. I can’t stress how important what I said before was; I made sure I got up each morning and dressed like I was going to work because that put me in the right frame of mind.
A lot of the people at the emergency housing would ask me for help because they thought I was a worker there. I’d tell them, ‘No, I’m just like you; I live here too.’ It opened lots of great opportunities to sit and talk to people about their lives.
I was so thrilled to get a rental property for myself, but it was a little sad too because I could see what happens at emergency housing and could see that some people just weren’t able to get through the application process because of the way they looked. I would tell them to make sure they looked like they had had a shower and dressed as well as they could. Also, to make sure they get on the bus or train in time to get to the interview because if you’re late prospective landlords immediately get a negative impression.
You have to understand why people don’t always get up and dressed and off to an interview. I really do believe it’s because they have given up because the processes and experience of being a beneficiary can be horrific. I experienced it first-hand. There were some good social workers, but others treat everyone with such disrespect, and it was just awful. I would just say, ‘Come on Verna, you can do it this. It’s only temporary.’
Verna says that the problem for so many is that they for get difficult times are only temporary; “They see no escape and the ability to look positively into the future is gone for them. Their motivation and confidence are lost and, when that happens, any hope they have for the future also evaporates.”
I couldn’t have got where I am today without Visionwest. I haven’t cleared all my debt, but I’m in control of it. I’ve also got a clearer picture of what I’m doing this year. I should have said, I’ve been working. It’s a delivery job which I really enjoy but I’ve got some injuries caused by a medical condition I found out I have. So, I’ll be going back on the benefit but this time it’s no drama for me. I’ll miss the money, but I know how to control that now. And I’ve got Mahesha who’s got me on track. That means I don’t have to worry about money, I can focus on myself and on my health needs.
Looking ahead, I need to get my health, this arthritis, sorted and determine how I’m going to live because it is going to spread at some stage. Then I plan to go back into mental health. I missed a couple opportunities with Victim Support which was sad, but I need to get my body right first and then I’ll get onto a job.
I’m on three community social media pages and people often come on asking for help for some issue in their life. I always say, ‘Go to Visionwest because they have a range of different areas where they can help you.’ I tell them about my budgeting and how I had to get that down pat. They come back and say, ‘Yeah but I bet you got a lot of money.’ I say, ‘No, I don’t. I’m on the benefit. I get $168 a week but the budgeter at Visionwest was still able to help me.’
So, I tell people to go to Visionwest. For housing, for food, for budgeting, whatever your need, do something. Don’t give up. You just gotta keep going. It was a big experience living in emergency housing. Just talking to the people. Some wouldn’t even come out of their room. Don’t be like that.
Two things I’d say to people who are not doing so good; you gotta keep going and you gotta be willing to ask for help from others.
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It’s sobering to realise that what happened to Verna could, potentially, happen to any one of us; most of us are only two or three critical incidents away from finding ourselves in a place where we are struggling. It could be a relationship breakup, a business failure or job loss, a sudden illness, losing our home; when something tough happens in life, it can have a huge impact on our finances and mental health – if you or someone you know needs support, phone Visionwest’s Whānau Centre, 0800 990 026.
Want to read another inspiring story from Visionwest Money Mentors? Click here.
If you need help getting your personal finances sorted, contact Visionwest Money Mentors – West Auckland Budgeting Service.
**We understand that it is a great privilege when someone generously agrees to share their story. This blog and other material is shared with Verna’s permission and we thank her for her generosity.